The Theory And The Truth About Fitting The Smartronik Gear Change Mod

Theory

• Purchase parts from Germany.
• Take out front seat.
• Remove gear lever assembly.
• Add new part.
• Find brown/black wire in fuse box.
• Connect wires.
• Put everything back together.
• Drive off and enjoy.

The Truth 

• Order parts on the net.[pay]
• Go to bank to send money to Germany. (Bank not sure how to do it  “could take ten days”)
• Spend half hour online joining ‘Paypal’ in America to send money to Germany.

• Wait 3 weeks for parts to arrive. (Give every postman dirty looks for not delivering parts).
• Find out in mean time that Smartclub seem to have suddenly got supplies of parts.
• Find card in door saying postman tried to deliver but I was out, so I collect from main post office after work. (Long queues).
• Get parcel home and find parts and a bag of ‘Gummy Bears’ inside. (Nice touch).
• Can’t wait to get started, so I don’t wait.

• Horn assembly comes off quite easily. (It’s going to be a doddle!).
• Out with the Dremel, cut bar on horn into three, solder parts to bar (not forgetting to put the shrink wrap on first). Find the shrink-wrap is not big enough to fit over the bar and soldered joints.
• Refit horn assembly. Seems OK, horn only works on the right now.

• Next out with front seat. No, wrong there, only one bolt will loosen no matter what I throw at it. Give up and decide to do it with the seat in as I can see the screw I need to get at.
• Remove plastic tunnel over gear stick with Torx screwdriver. No problem. Things are looking up again.

• Cut carpet slightly to get to screws that fit the gear change on.
• My Torx drivers don’t fit so off to Halfords.
• After two trips to above shop with wrong tools purchased, it is discovered that the screw is five pointed, not six as all the tools available, and Halfords can’t even order one!
• Go home and try everything in toolbox to get screws out.
• Mole grips finally get a grip after about an hour but the last one under the seat will not budge.

• Try every thing and decide to chisel head off or break the plastic but it is so well made it won’t break.

• Big lump of metal falls out on floor.
• Try key in ignition to make sure everything is ok but nothing works engine wise.
• Go to bed annoyed and worried about huge bills for new gear change assembly.

Next Morning

• Try chisel on last screw again. Does not move.
• Try mole grips one last time and it turns – EUREKA!
• Finally take gear assembly apart, find out how it works and put parts back in that fell out.
• Instant relief as I find that the engine was dead because the main connecting lead had come off the ignition switch. Full of enthusiasm again.

• Start mod by connecting new part and hot glue in place.
• Run wires under carpet to fuse box and put everything back.
• Now we’re cooking with gas.

• Next find fuse box.
• Insert screwdriver to unclip it as per instructions. Seems to snap off, but at least I can see better now!
• Spend ages looking for brown/black wire but find it at last.
• Cut wire. Horn still works. WRONG WIRE. Solder back together again.
• Keep looking for half hour through wires.
• Just about to give up and have another coffee whilst kicking the cat, when I decide on one more look through all the brown wires I can find.
• Find the right wire after twisting the brown wires and discover the black bit was hiding behind all the time.
• Cut wire and the horn give a peep. Hit head on underside of dash in surprise.
• At least it’s the right wire this time.
• Solder on connectors, connect wires, done.

• Take car for drive.
• Left button works, but right button works horn.
• Read instructions again.
• Gear stick back, ignition on, one beep and the buttons are swapped round.
• WRONG!
• Reprogram loads of times still no joy.
• Decide to try two beeps, which is supposed to not change anything.
• IT WORKS! HAPPY DAYS! Instructions wrong.
• It works well, but you need to stop grabbing for the gear stick. Takes a bit of getting used to.

Was it worth it?

It took twelve hours with lots of swearing and passing cats leaving with spanners embedded in their rumps, but when it’s done and working its brilliant.

Back on the road and loving every minute.[/pay]

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